Hello Again from the blogging hijacker. I have hijacked your site because since my last post nobody is listening! These "nuts" are out of control. They are actively and quite successfully recruiting from within our community. They are now holding monthly dinners with supposedly educational guest speakers. I have figured out that during these presentations subliminal messages promoting their cause are being delivered. At this last dinner alone there were 150 attendees. It will not be long before it will be too late to stop them. I have tried to warn residents of our community and the staff at the country club but no one will take me seriously. I understand that just recently an order was placed for 20 new mallets. These new lifeforms are so bold that they have taken to organizing a club championship to determine who is the greatest warrior in their group. I beg you to please not allow yourself to be duped into thinking that these games are for fun. Our community is not the only one being over run by these creatures. The croquetnuts are now organizing meetings with other groups under the guise of interclub matches. These have proven to be very successful recruiting grounds as newer "mallet clubs" from other developments are starting to pop up. I am fearful that there is no end in site.
As their evolution continues, you can tell they are getting smarter. If you notice, the female tomahawk chopper has quit chopping. Obviously, she read my post and has gotten wiser. Now many of their kind are learning how to crush the striking balls and make them fly through the air and still pass through the tiny wickets. How long will it be before we have reports of members coming up missing and the only clues will be round holes in their glass windows where break ins have occurred. Picture the effect of this geometric growth. After the fall season is over, many of the converted will return to their winter homes to unsuspecting communities to begin new recruitment efforts. Their is even a national headquarters now in West Palm Beach operating under the name of U. S Croquet Association. People please, I have obtained documentation that proves that USCA really stands for Uniting Soldiers for the Conquering Aliens. It was just recently that I observed one of their founding fathers (whom I refer to as the Great Exciter) preaching to a group of unsuspecting residents about the joy you can receive by learning how to execute well with the mallet and striking balls. He is a very smart man because whenever he thinks he might be losing people's attention he has his wife calmly step in and take over. No one seems immune to her charm. Maybe she is the real leader.
I have also recently learned that these creatures have successfully begun to communicate with underwater life and have enlisted them to help in recruitment above and below the oceans. Don't be surprised if someone comes to speak to us representing life in the oceans. Do you know how many people visit aquariums each year?
Just look at the following facts"
1. Their group now numbers in excess of 150
2. Their new practice battlefield will be ready in just a few short months. When has the LTCC ever reacted that quickly to a members request. I am afraid the LTCC staff is already lost.
3. They are obviously preparing for combat in all types of conditions because rain does not make them stop.
4. They have now recruited a local artist from within our own to start a propaganda campaign. She has begun draping tables with their flags that bear the striking ball symbols and can be observed recording their success with her camera. I have tried to warn her husband but he ignores my pleas and simply says "she is cute".
5. They have learned that humans by nature are attracted to making money with little or no effort. So now they are holding weekly fund raising sessions they call 50/50 raffles. Who can resist this temptation.
6. I assure you that it is only a matter of time before the LTCC steps in and tears down our beloved tennis pro shop and begin to build a new inner sanctum for them to hold their secret strategy meetings.
I will no longer invade your site to express my concerns over this alien movement. I have said enough. Those of you that wish to give in to their charm, I can only say "I warned you". You will realize the evils of their ways when the LTCC golfers finally are won over. It is my understanding that this has become a primary goal of the Great Exciter. I am now taking my fight underground. Those of you who have been able to resist, stay calm. I will contact you to start a resistance movement to fight this growing malignancy that has invaded our community. Until then beware of splits, rolls and stop shots. They will soon be aimed at us.
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